Cosmic Night Owl

Random Ramblings- What’s Next?

I had my entire future planned out when I was a kid. I expected to stay in my small hometown forever, living in a small comfy house just a few blocks away from my grandparents and surrounded by people whose faces had become as familiar to me as the back of my hand. I wanted to have my first kiss at 14, just as all normal teenagers do. I had hoped to fall madly in love with a high school sweetheart and be married by the time I was in college. After that, I imagined I’d have a kid or two as I climbed the career-ladder until I was a novelist with J.K. Rowling style success.

As time passed, however, I realized that the universe doesn’t abide to my rules. I moved to the city when I was twelve-years-old. I’ve never been kissed, and I’m not even sure I want to have children. Close friends and acquaintances of mine are busy getting married and starting families of their own, touring Europe, chatting with celebrities and getting a jump-start on their careers. And here I am- a college graduate who now has to face an unpleasant reality of paying back student loans, working a temporary job, and an unfinished manuscript just waiting to be finished.

Now I know what you might be thinking- is this another one of those woe-is-me-my-life-is-boring-and-it-sucks rants? Not at all! This is a Random Ramble, a thread of thought that’s been swirling around in my mind for a long time that I feel I need to get out into the world. And what I’ve thinking about recently is what the next step is going to be.

My college career has come to a close, and since very few of the expectations I’d had in my childhood still haven’t come to fruition, I often wonder what exactly I should be doing. I had this uneasy feeling that everyone around me has already set out on grand adventures while I’m at a standstill. The feeling comes and goes, sometimes it’s overwhelming and other times it lingers in the back of my mind. Though whenever it comes, I always try to remind myself that I don’t have to be like everybody else. My life doesn’t have to perfectly mirror everyone else’s. Besides, why should I want it to?

With a new year on the horizon, my one and only resolution is to stay optimistic and not disappoint myself. Things may not have turned out the way I thought it would so far, but I realize it doesn’t necessarily mean everything I’ve dreamed of will never come true. I have faith it will in time. Even then, reliance can’t be put on faith alone. The universe has opened up a brand new chapter in my life, but it’s up to me to put the pen to paper and let my story unfold.